Handing Ropes To Working Couples
When young people decide to get married, there, somewhere in the back of their mind remains a big question as to how to bring up the children. The question becomes more challenging when both, the husband and wife happen to be working. When the children enter the scene the working parents find themselves facing a dilemma; how to balance the home and the family and do well at both? It so happens that the problems faced by the working couples often seem to bring them to confrontations that they have never imagined. They remember the saying, “I slept and dreamt that life was a beauty and woke up and found that life was a duty.” Duty, duty and duty. Juggling home, office and parenting really drains the life out. And such times the working couples can find themselves arguing and blaming each other each and every problem that crops up from nowhere.
Dr. Neetu has two young children who attend elementary school. Everyday she drops the children at the school and her husband, a university teacher picks up them up after school. However, there are times when there are some emergency calls for Dr. Neetu and she does not have the time to drop the children. Her husband on the other hand sleeps late at night and really gets mad when he is called early in the morning to take the children to the school.
When working parents juggle between home and office they are stressed out to a point when even the smallest problems seem to flare up arguments. However arguing, nagging and bickering only breaks the peace of the family. While working couples try to balance their office and family it might be worthwhile to remember some hints.
1. Curve out couple time: Wearing out the sole of your shoes with running between home, office and the children’s school? When was the last time that you had a quiet dinner together? Have you noticed that things- to- do- together has hit the bottom list? Its time to curve out a time for just for the two of you. Leave the children with their granny and dine out. Or after the children are in their beds have a candle-light dinner that lasts late into the night on the weekends. At such times keep your talks about family issues as little as possible.
3. Think over the other’s points: When in disagreement over some subject think over the other’s view. Reflect over what the other is trying to say. Think over merits and demerits of your own views. If mistaken learn to let go and what your spouse has to say.
4. Respect the other person: Showing respect for the other person can never be too much. When we show respect for the other person we only add to the shared love. There are times when you may not be in complete agreement and yet learn to remain silent and accept the other’s decision. You could avoid many heated arguments over this momentary silence over your own opinions.
5. Focus on important issues: Running a family and doing a job and at the same time being the ideal parents is no easy task. When making an important decision try to see what is more important to your family and its happiness. There may be times when sacrifices must be made for the sake of the family. It’s worthwhile. If going out with children on the weekend means letting go of the extra income (over time) you had targeted earlier, let go of it.
6. Pick your moment: Pick your moment to find happiness. The summer that is looming ahead may be the ideal summer for you to go out on a break. Next summer your eldest son may be too busy with high school finals. And take this summer to take the family to a vacation.
While on the vacation do not forget to find those special moments for your significant other. Use the time out together something worthwhile to remember.
Find a common ground; While riding on the wheel of life find common grounds on which you can anchor your boat. The rough seas of life cannot be weathered if you are set on different directions.
Working couples need to adjust to a lot of things. Starting from job selection, where to live, how many children to take, they need to decide together on the everyday things as to what tea to drink. Find a common ground on which both can agree and set your picture.
As the poet Khalil Gibran says, “Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music, “The family is the music of a couple; they must play it together”. Being a working couple can be taken like an addition of a note to the music, its up to them to play it well.
(info from http://independent-bangladesh.com/news/jun/03/03062005wo.htm)