How To Find Happiness Blog

Our founding father Thomas Jefferson wrote, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

The theologian and mathematician Blaise Pascal has observed that, ” all men seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end.”

What is this happiness? How does one achieve it? The Oxford Dictionary defines happiness as ” pleasure, delight, enjoyment, joy, gladness, high spirits.”

What produces these sensations?

Society has attempted to answer this, or at least to side-step it, through activity. Pascal says ” Men are entrusted from infancy with the care of their honor, their property, their friends . . . They are overwhelmed with business, with the study of languages, and with physical exercise; and they are made to understand that they cannot be happy unless their health, their honor, their fortune . . . be in good condition, and that a single thing wanting will make them unhappy. Thus they are given cares and business which make them bustle about from break of day. — It is, you will exclaim, a strange way to make them happy!” The distractions he refers to can often fill our lives to the point that we forget who and what we are and what we are about. I urge everyone here to take a moment and think about what distracts you. Is it business? Is it appearance? Is it achieving more?

Adolescence is generally considered a fairly trying time of life. It lands between childhood and adulthood; resulting in a person unsure of their age and identity. Vigorous attempts to resolve these feelings often result in distraction in looking for happiness. Happiness and the search for it motivates our actions; at times causing us to engage in bizarre behavior. Happiness is often equated with success; if one is successful, one must be happy. The pressure in high school to excel in many areas stems from the idea that this will create happiness, directly or indirectly; immediately or in the future.

One of the benefits of adolescence is the opportunity to experience new activities; however, these can be overwhelming, especially if the motivation behind participation is lost in the bustle of achievement.

We have reached a turning point in our lives, and now we are supposed to strike boldly out on the exhilarating and life-affirming path to success. There are certain things we must do to find this success, and if this success is not found, happiness will not be achieved.

But I wonder: how much of happiness is really related to popularity or what you have accomplished on the field, on an instrument, in the classroom, or what you will do in college and the workforce? Is achieving happiness so clear-cut that all one needs to do is to keep busy with success at various employments? I used to consider success in certain activities to be important; excelling was something I tried to achieve. Granted, doing your best in something is a positive attitude to maintain, but this mentality with the wrong incentive is not so positive. Doing your best at everything to churn out a list of achievements will not beget happiness. At the end of the day success and happiness are not dependent on what is achieved.

What is really important? What is success? Is it having the most expensive car or being content without it? Is it winning every athletic trophy possible or enjoying the sport and learning from it? Is it going to an impressive college, studying hard, and maintaining an illustrious career the rest of your life or forming relationships and serving others? Life is not about a list of successes. It’s about experiences and relationships and learning.

People who are engaged in life and find value in their existence are able to realize contentment, and so doing, happiness. Serving others, pleasures found in the simple things like loud laughter or a warm and comfortable sweatshirt, and loving God are all occasions of happiness. Stop for a moment and think about when you are happy. Is it in playing music? In prayer? In squirting whipped cream directly into your mouth? I remember when I was younger playing a game called ‘Deserted Island’ with my brother and sister and grandmother. We were hiding on an island from the bad guys. To survive, we made ovens out of bricks and cooked fish on them. We slept in trees and sometimes climbed to the tops to watch for the bad guys’ ship approaching to find us. If this happened, we hid in the barn where apparently they never thought to look. This game, though possibly silly as I think about it now, was always a happy moment.

To reiterate what Pascal has wisely observed, ” All men seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end… The will never takes the least step without this object . . . And yet after such a great number of years, no one without faith has reached the point to which all continually look.” Ladies and gentlemen, fellow graduates, I beseech all of you to look: ” seek, and ye shall find.”

(info from http://rockland.villagesoup.com/Education/story.cfm?storyID=56389)

Think about what’s right with life. Think about the good and valuable things that you sometimes forget to even notice.

Think about the positive possibilities that are real and present in this very moment. Think about all the worthwhile things you can do with this day that is yours right now.

Think of how you can take action and cause good things to happen. Think of how you can set an ambitious goal and work with persistence to reach it.

Think of all the good people who quietly and reliably work to make this world a better place. Think of how great you feel when you give of yourself to others.

Think of the opportunities you have to live a life that is filled with richness. Think of how fortunate you are to be able to experience and appreciate the beauty in this world.

Think about what’s right, what’s good, what’s valuable and fulfilling. For the more you focus your thoughts on the good things, the more abundant they will become.

- Ralph Marston

When young people decide to get married, there, somewhere in the back of their mind remains a big question as to how to bring up the children. The question becomes more challenging when both, the husband and wife happen to be working. When the children enter the scene the working parents find themselves facing a dilemma; how to balance the home and the family and do well at both? It so happens that the problems faced by the working couples often seem to bring them to confrontations that they have never imagined. They remember the saying, “I slept and dreamt that life was a beauty and woke up and found that life was a duty.” Duty, duty and duty. Juggling home, office and parenting really drains the life out. And such times the working couples can find themselves arguing and blaming each other each and every problem that crops up from nowhere.

Dr. Neetu has two young children who attend elementary school. Everyday she drops the children at the school and her husband, a university teacher picks up them up after school. However, there are times when there are some emergency calls for Dr. Neetu and she does not have the time to drop the children. Her husband on the other hand sleeps late at night and really gets mad when he is called early in the morning to take the children to the school.

When working parents juggle between home and office they are stressed out to a point when even the smallest problems seem to flare up arguments. However arguing, nagging and bickering only breaks the peace of the family. While working couples try to balance their office and family it might be worthwhile to remember some hints.

1. Curve out couple time: Wearing out the sole of your shoes with running between home, office and the children’s school? When was the last time that you had a quiet dinner together? Have you noticed that things- to- do- together has hit the bottom list? Its time to curve out a time for just for the two of you. Leave the children with their granny and dine out. Or after the children are in their beds have a candle-light dinner that lasts late into the night on the weekends. At such times keep your talks about family issues as little as possible.

2. Stop blaming each other: Put an end to blaming each other for things that go wrong. Take responsibility together to sort out a dilemma. Never forget, even for a second that the family is not ‘his’ or ‘hers’, but its yours. Together you have started it and together you are to run it. We all make mistakes and one should not be made to feel guilty when a mistake is made.

3. Think over the other’s points: When in disagreement over some subject think over the other’s view. Reflect over what the other is trying to say. Think over merits and demerits of your own views. If mistaken learn to let go and what your spouse has to say.

4. Respect the other person: Showing respect for the other person can never be too much. When we show respect for the other person we only add to the shared love. There are times when you may not be in complete agreement and yet learn to remain silent and accept the other’s decision. You could avoid many heated arguments over this momentary silence over your own opinions.

5. Focus on important issues: Running a family and doing a job and at the same time being the ideal parents is no easy task. When making an important decision try to see what is more important to your family and its happiness. There may be times when sacrifices must be made for the sake of the family. It’s worthwhile. If going out with children on the weekend means letting go of the extra income (over time) you had targeted earlier, let go of it.

6. Pick your moment: Pick your moment to find happiness. The summer that is looming ahead may be the ideal summer for you to go out on a break. Next summer your eldest son may be too busy with high school finals. And take this summer to take the family to a vacation.

While on the vacation do not forget to find those special moments for your significant other. Use the time out together something worthwhile to remember.

Find a common ground; While riding on the wheel of life find common grounds on which you can anchor your boat. The rough seas of life cannot be weathered if you are set on different directions.

Working couples need to adjust to a lot of things. Starting from job selection, where to live, how many children to take, they need to decide together on the everyday things as to what tea to drink. Find a common ground on which both can agree and set your picture.

As the poet Khalil Gibran says, “Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music, “The family is the music of a couple; they must play it together”. Being a working couple can be taken like an addition of a note to the music, its up to them to play it well.

(info from http://independent-bangladesh.com/news/jun/03/03062005wo.htm)

Okay, I am sure that you clicked on this title out of curiosity. Wow a butterfly; what would a butterfly have to do with self help content? And you are right. Not a thing! But it is the phrase that my daughter used when she saw a butterfly while playing outside. She said it with so much excitement that I could not help but feel excited for her too.

Now, I know it sounds kind of cute. But, what I am trying to communicate is that children seem so happy because they are overall excited. They get excited with a toy, an animal, a game, a hug, a friend etc. They are happy to just wake up another day; they have so much to look forward to (anything).

As adults we can also appreciate the beauty of a butterfly but, I am not quite sure we would get so excited. We have seen butterflies more times than them but, most importantly life in general gets on our way not allowing us to have enough time to contemplate. Those who even dare to dream out loud are often discouraged by peers. Why? We have all bought in to this notion that life is hard. Which is partly true but, everything is not terrible. Sometimes we overlook the good things.

So what should you do about it? Follow your dreams, be open to new experiences, make new friends, stand up for your beliefs, have hobbies etc. If you follow these simple tips you will soon have some excitement and happiness in your life.

Spice it up a little,

Kenia Morales

About the Author

Kenia Morales is the publisher of online magazine http://kpatra.com “For Every Aspect of Today’s Woman. Visit her site to find a variety of women related issues and topics” click here http://www.kpatra.com/keniascolumn.htm to find Kenia’s little piece of heaven her inspirational column

Why should you learn how to have gratitude?

Yes, it might feel great to win the lottery. Money, houses, travel - these are wonderful, but not enough by themselves. You need the right frame of mind to fully enjoy life. You need the attitude of gratitude.

Be Grateful

Life is better when you feel blessed, when you can look around and say “Thank you, God.” Religious or not, when you see life as a wonderful gift, your experience is a richer one than any amount of money can provide. Imagine going through life like you’re a child, and every morning is Christmas.

It’s tempting to think gatitude comes from having what you want. You see yourself giving thanks if you had money, a loving family, and maybe a house on the beach. Still, you know there are ungrateful, unhappy people with these things, and poor people full of gratitude for what little they have. Where does this feeling come from?

Creating Gratitude

Gratitude arises from how you look at things. It is the natural feeling that comes from truly appreciating the people and things in your life. It is also something you can learn.

First, you have to stop and smell the roses. You can’t be thankful for something you don’t notice or enjoy. Roses really do smell great, by the way.

Then, you need to make this appreciative approach to roses and life a habit. There’s no need to ignore the ugliness in the world, but you have to habitually see the beautiful things.

Start writing down every positive thing that happens to you, and all the things you like. Do this until you start automatically seeing the good things in life. If you’ve ever bought a white car, and started seeing white cars all over, you know how awareness can alter your perception of reality. To see wonderful things all over, train yourself to look for them.

Wnen you are in the habit of “counting your blessings,” gratitude, and a much richer experience of life is the natural result.

About the Author

Steve Gillman writes on many self help topics including boosting brainpower, losing weight, meditation, habits of mind, creative problem solving, learning gratitude, generating luck and anything related to self improvement. You’ll find more at http://www.SelfImprovementNow.com

Here are 7 simple and surprising keys to happiness. Enjoy (and apply)!

Have you ever had one of those days where you just wish you were in a better mood? Perhaps you tried to shift your state of mind to something better but struggled to achieve it.

Sometimes we get stuck in our own ’stinking thinking’ and forget how easy it is to feel happier, so here are seven simple ways to lift your mood that many people have found useful and some of them may surprise you!

1. Go for a walk.

Most folk know that going for a short daily walk is one of the best forms of exercise. If you can, go into a natural environment with flowers, trees and birds. What will you notice first? The different shades of greenery, the fresh smell of country air, the bird sounds, or the sunlight shining through the tree foliage.

2. Listen to some quality music.

Music creates magical effects. It can shift the listeners state within moments. Why not dig out that album you haven’t listened to in ages or why not tune in your radio to something you’ve never listened to before.

3. Think of others less fortunate.

The fact that you are reading this article suggests that you are probably much better off than many, many people on this planet! What if you were to imagine being in space looking down on the amazing beautiful earth, noticing all the oceans and lands with the clouds above… And then thinking about the fact that there are many human beings that are starving, homeless and in lots of pain… Allow your compassion for them to grow.

4. Read something radical!

How many different types of magazines can you get these days?! Have you ever waltzed into a big newsagents and just browsed through the magazine racks? It’s incredible. Why not buy a magazine you wouldn’t normally buy. You never know you may discover something wonderful!

5. Laughing at laughter.

Have you ever had the experience when you just laugh for no good reason? Isn’t it great! Laughter is one of the best ways to lift your spirits. Can’t think of anything funny? Try grinning at yourself insanely in the mirror and notice how difficult it becomes to control your giggle muscles!

6. Simple breathing meditation.

A great exercise that you can do anywhere is a simple breathing meditation. No need to dress in orange robes. Simply find yourself in a comfortable sitting position with your back straight. Now close your eyes and become aware of the flow of air into and out of your nostrils. That’s it! Do this for 10/15 minutes and you’ll find yourself pleasantly surprised how you feel afterward.

7. Doodling just for fun!

Remember when you were young and you used to doodle with crayons for hours. Kids love drawing silly little pictures, why not adults? So get some pens, pencils, crayons or whatever you have and just draw - doodle away until your state of mind shifts.

You might agree that these are all pretty simple and that’s what’s so good about them. Making changes, mundane or profoundly life-changing, are easily and quickly achieved by putting into action simple ideas, methods, tools and techniques.

About the Author

Colin G Smith is a licensed Master Practitioner of Neuro- Linguistic Programming (NLP) and author of ‘The NLP ToolBox’, a personal development book that enables the reader to master any area of their life with amazing speed. Complete information on Colin G Smith’s books are available at his website, including a FREE personal development eBook.
http://www.NLPToolBox.com

Where to find the secret of happiness?

Conditions of happiness are attainable for anyone. Happiness is not found in ideal circumstances, the right people, money, education, position, authority.

The secret of happiness is found in our own bosom. It is not found in “putting someone else down.” While you are rejoicing in your lot, others are sorrowing because of their loss.

The spring of the deepest happiness is found in self-denial. Every true happiness involves saying “no” to self. Those who never learn to live a disciplined life never truly learn the meaning of true happiness.

by Richard W. Bowers
(info from http://ydr.com/story/op-ed/73453/)

Are you a happy person?

Millions seek happiness. They experiment with cheap thrills, possessions, people, money and investments. They strive for the touch of the golden moment only to finally admit it isn’t truly rewarding nor does it bring genuine happiness.

Happiness is a choice. No person, asset, occupation, or prestige can guarantee satisfying happiness. Happiness is the byproduct of life, not the main ingredient in life.

Those who constantly seek to be happy usually are not. Happiness is the result of a state of being, something that grows and blossoms as we feed the tender sprouts of joy in the early stages of life. Determining to be a happy person is a choice not dependent on person, place or thing.

by Richard W. Bowers
(info from http://ydr.com/story/op-ed/73453/)