How To Find Happiness Blog

Psychologists have proved what the playwright Oscar Wilde always suspected: optimists and pessimists really do look at the world differently.

Wilde once quipped that even when “we are all in the gutter, some of us are looking at the stars” — and now psychologists have shown he got it just right.

In a study they found that pessimists’ brains work better when they are staring downwards and that optimists’ minds function more quickly when they are looking upwards.

The finding suggests that the hangdog expression typically adopted by the miserable could have a purpose. They might be having sad thoughts but they are thinking them more efficiently than if they looked upwards.

More importantly, the research suggests new ways for diagnosing and treating conditions such as depression, according to Brian Meier, a psychologist at North Dakota State University who led the study.

Depression is one of the most common and debilitating psychiatric illnesses, affecting more than one in five people at some point in their lives and costing the National Health Service hundreds of millions of pounds a year.

In the study, researchers tested volunteers to find those with the strongest pessimistic and optimistic traits. Then the volunteers were asked to perform various cognitive tests while looking downwards and similar tasks while looking slightly upwards.

The results showed that the pessimists performed best while looking downwards, the optimists best when they looked upwards.

“Humans have linked words like up and down, night and day with positive and negative emotions ever since advanced thought evolved. These tests hint at the origin of that relationship,” said Meier.

It is possible that such postures can actually reinforce the moods that caused them, so people with pessimistic or depressive tendencies are perpetuating them through directing their gaze downwards.

“It suggests it may be possible to relieve depression simply by persuading them to break their habits and move their gaze upwards,” said Meier.

However, is it really fair to assume anyone with their eyes fixed firmly on the ground is depressed? Yes, according to Phillip Hodson, a fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. “It’s true if you feel down you look down. It’s a psychological as well as physical function,” he said.

“Football players drop their heads when they miss a penalty because their muscles go limp and they feel deflated. If they score, they get a shot of adrenaline, they breathe more deeply and stand up taller.”

Hodson is convinced that long-term pessimists and depressives also develop a very different view of the world and their role in it compared with others.

“They expect to do badly and so they become more prone to error and they have less joie de vivre,” he said. “They’ve probably had less sleep and are sluggish; and consequently they do see the world differently.”

Depression has been recognised for centuries. Its causes were, however, a mystery until recently and sufferers were often derided as malingerers.

Recent research has shown that depressives or long-term pessimists have subtle differences in their brain chemistry that may be partly genetic or could be caused by bad diets or other factors.

Lewis Wolpert, a professor of biology at University College London, suffered serious bouts of depression that he described as like being in a “black pit” in his renowned book Malignant Sadness.

Now recovered, Wolpert’s glittering scientific career also includes a Nobel prize and becoming a senior fellow of the Royal Society.

But the pessimism still sneaks through, as when Wolpert was asked to tell a recent interviewer of his original reasons for taking up science. “Maybe I thought my nose was too big and my penis too small,” he said, “I just wanted to understand what determined the shape of things.”

(info by Roger Dobson, Jonathon Carr-Brown and Tom Baird from http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2087-1706116,00.html)

Get Better Results Than Ever Before

There are several principles of military strategy that you can apply to your business, every single day.

These can help you to think better and get better results than ever before.

Do The Unexpected

One really helpful military principle that can be applied to business is the Principle of Surprise. The principle of surprise says, “do the unexpected!” In sales and marketing, this means to be continually seeking ways to out-flank or upset your competition.

Do The Opposite of Before

Sometimes doing exactly the opposite of what you have been doing up till now can turn out to be the perfect solution. The natural tendency for a person, when they find themselves in a hole, is to dig deeper. In many cases, the solution is to go and dig somewhere else. Remember, the first law of holes is, “When you find yourself in one, stop digging.”

Follow-up and Follow-Through

A second military principle that applies to business is the Principle of Exploitation. The principle of exploitation emphasizes the importance of follow-up and follow-through. In business, this means that, when you get an opportunity, you exploit it to the fullest extent possible. If you have a great promotional idea or product or service, you sell all you can. You take advantage of your idea or breakthrough and use every opportunity to capitalize on it.

Work Harmoniously With Others

The third principle of military strategy that applies to personal and corporate thinking is the Principle of Cooperation. In business, this is often called the principle of synergy. In military terms, this is often called the principle of “concerted action.” In business terms, your ability to work effectively and harmoniously with other individuals and groups is more responsible for your success than any other quality.

Win the Cooperation of Key People

A key part of strategic thinking is for you to identify the individuals, groups and organizations whose cooperation you will require to achieve your goals. Make a list of them and then organize the list in order of importance. Then ask yourself, “How am I going to win their cooperation?”

Answer Everyone’s Favorite Question

Everybody wants to know, “what’s in it for me?” The effective executive is always looking for ways to help or assist others knowing that this is the only sure way to create within them a desire to help you to achieve your goals.

By doing the unexpected, by following up and following through, and by constantly looking for ways to get other people to cooperate with you, you will accomplish more in a shorter time than you might ever have imagined.

Action Exercises

Here are two things you can do immediately to apply these ideas in your business and in your work:

First, look at your job, especially the areas where you are experiencing frustration, and question whether or not there is a completely different way of approaching your problem or situation. Do the unexpected. Perhaps you should be doing exactly the opposite of what you are doing today. All success in business comes from surprising the competition in some way.

Second, identify the people, groups and organizations whose assistance you will need to achieve your goal. Continually look for ways to earn their support and cooperation by thinking in terms of what is in it for them.

———————-
Article by Brian Tracy

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Not having fun? Don’t worry, everyone feels a little meh sometimes. But what if you never have fun? Well, you’re not alone there, either.

It’s called anhedonia, the inability to experience pleasure. “If you have anhedonia, it doesn’t mean you’re a curmudgeon or miserable,” says Ann Kring, an associate professor of psychology at UC Berkeley who studies the condition. Still, for people who have it, the bright peaks of pleasure we spend much of our lives chasing are flattened out.

Anhedonia can be temporary — during a period of mourning, for example — but it’s also a central feature of many depression and anxiety disorders, as well as schizophrenia. Kring’s work with schizophrenics has yielded a compelling paradox that may apply to others with anhedonia: “When you ask patients, ‘Do sunsets or good meals or time with friends bring you pleasure?’ they will inevitably say, ‘No, not so much,’” she explains. But when the researchers provided something pleasant such as a funny novel or a tasty drink, the subjects reported enjoying them a great deal. So it’s not that they can’t experience pleasure — it’s that they can’t anticipate it, or recall later having enjoyed things they’d actually enjoyed quite a bit.

Their pleasure thus trapped in the present, anhedonics rarely seek enjoyment. After all, anticipation, as any advertiser could tell you, is a key part of fun. Sometimes it even trumps the thing itself. “Looking forward to a meal at Chez Panisse, you think it’s going to be a ten, but when you get there it’s an eight or nine,” Kring says. “It’s not that it’s not a great meal, it’s that we tend to overestimate how much pleasure things will bring us.”

The desire to keep the Fun Meter cranked to ten is a particularly American trait, says Dr. Jeanne Tsai, an assistant psychology professor at Stanford who studies cultural influences on emotion. “Fun is really an American ideal,” she says. “We always ask ourselves ‘Are we having fun yet?’ and are always seeking entertainment and having a good time.” We’re supposed to be enthusiastic about our leisure time and passionate about our work, and studies of child-rearing books show we’re expected to make school and chores fun, too. Yet fun is open to cultural interpretation. Tsai has found that Americans equate “happiness” with feelings of elation and euphoria, while respondents from Hong Kong associate it with peacefulness and security.

With Americans, Tsai says, it’s not enough to just feel good — you have to express your elation, too. “If people ask how you’re doing, it’s not enough to say ‘Fine,’ you have to be ‘Great,’ and even if you’re not feeling that way you have to engage in the cultural script,” Tsai says. “If you don’t have the Julia Roberts smile, people think you’re depressed.”

She’s not kidding about the smile: Studies done by her Stanford lab comparing Caucasian and Hmong Americans found that not only did the white people smile more broadly and frequently than the Asians, but that depressed white people smiled as much as perfectly content Hmong subjects. We think of our smiles as clues to our secret inner state, when we’re actually on a sort of culturally preprogrammed autopilot.

What if you try to have fun, but don’t? Dr. Jacqueline Persons, director of the Bay Area Center for Cognitive Therapy in Oakland, says that when patients come to her complaining of a loss of pleasure, she introduces them to a therapy often used to treat anxiety disorders. Cognitive therapy is based on the idea that thinking patterns influence mood and behaviors — Persons says clients with anhedonia often stop pursuing activities in favor of holing up at home. “Like the anxious person who has predictions about catastrophe, the depressed person has predictions like, ‘I won’t enjoy it,’ or ‘It won’t be worthwhile,” Persons says. “The therapy is to help the patient identify those cognitions and to do an experiment and test if it’s true.” In other words, Persons sends anhedonics to a party. Beforehand, the patients rate how much they think they’ll like it, and once there, they rate it again. They often enjoy it far more than they’d expected.

All three experts agree that there’s a sort of natural gradient between people who want to grab life by the horns and those who prefer a cozy evening at home, and that too much pressure on people to feel good can make them feel … well, bad. “There’s a particularly high premium on happiness and getting out there and doing things in the Bay Area,” Kring says. “When you go back to work on Monday and people are like, ‘What did you do over the weekend?’ very rarely do you hear people say, ‘I sat at home and watched TV.’”

It wouldn’t hurt, Tsai says, if our fun-loving culture adjusted its view of happiness to recognize that not every good time has to be on the business end of a bungee cord. “If we broaden our definition to include those times when we’re feeling calm and peaceful,” says Tsai, “maybe you’ll find you’re happier than you thought.”

(info by Kara Platoni from http://www.eastbayexpress.com/Issues/2005-07-20/news/fun6.html)

The most important thing you do for your success is to take control of the suggestive elements in your environment. Be sure that what you are seeing and listening to is consistent with the goals you want to achieve.

Listen Your Way To Success

Listen to educational audio programs in your car. The average person drives 12,000 to 25,000 miles per year which works out to between 500 and 1000 hours per year that the average person spends in his or her car. You can become an expert in your field by simply listening to educational audio programs as you drive from place to place.

Take Courses In Your Field

Attend seminars given by experts in your field. Take additional courses and learn everything you possibly can. Learn from the experts. Ask them questions, write them letters, read their books, read their articles and listen to people with proven track records in the area in which you want to be successful.

Get Around The Right People

Associate only with positive, success-oriented people. Get around winners. As we say, fly with the eagles. You can’t fly with the eagles if you keep scratching with the turkeys. Get away from the go-nowhere types and above all, get away from negative people. Get away from negative coworkers. If you’ve got a negative boss, seriously consider changing jobs. Associating on a regular basis with negative people is enough in itself to condemn you to a life of underachievement, frustration and failure. Associate only with positive people. Get around winners.

Visualize Your Goals

The last thing before you sleep and the first thing in the morning, think about and visualize your goals as realities. See your goal as though it already existed. Your subconscious mind is only activated by affirmations and pictures that are received in the present tense. See your goal vividly just before you go to sleep. See yourself performing at your best. See the situations that you’re facing working out exactly the way you want them to.

Feed Yourself Mental Pictures

See yourself living the kind of life that you want to live. See yourself with the kind of relationships, the kind of health, the kind of car, the kind of home you really want. Visualize just before you fall asleep at night. The first thing you do when you get up in the morning is to feed yourself mental pictures. Those are the two times of the day when your subconscious mind is most receptive to new programming, when you fall asleep and when you wake up.

Action Exercises

Here are two things you can do, all day long, to keep your mind and emotions focused on your goals and financial success:

First, listen to audio programs in your car and when you travel around. Continue feeding your mind with a stream of high-quality, educational, motivational material that moves you toward your goal.

Second, resolve to associate with positive, optimistic people most of the time. Get around winners and get away from negative people who criticize, condemn and complain. This can change your life as much as any other factor.

———————-
Article by Brian Tracy

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Time is nature’s greatest “force.” Nothing can stop it; nothing can alter it. Unlike the wind, it cannot be felt. Unlike the sun, it cannot be seen. Yet, of all nature’s forces, time has the most profound effect on us.

Time remains constant, but our perception of it changes. When we focus on it, it slows down. When we turn our backs on it, it speeds up. Our illusion makes us think it is something tangible. We arrange it, divide it up, and give some to our friends. Sometimes we feel it is precious, at other times we waste it. We give it the power to heal when we say, “Time heals all wounds.” It can also kill, as when we live stressful lives because we “never have enough time.” On a day?to?day basis, nothing is defined and redefined in our minds as much as time. It’s a wonder we can still recognize it!

Herein lies our power. Because things are as we perceive them, we can choose to see time as a manageable commodity and live our lives according to that assumption. This is one of the secrets of successful people ? they work at shaping those things that others think are uncontrollable.

Efficient VS. Effective

In discussing time management, some people argue, “What we need to be is more efficient with our time!” Other people claim, “Let’s not worry so much about efficiency, let’s be more effective!”

Efficiency means doing things right. Effectiveness means doing the right things. Working efficiently is doing things with the least amount of wasted effort. Efficiency gets you from point A to point B via a straight line. Inefficiency goes in circles. Effectiveness means doing the things that yield results.

Many people, when learning about time management, ask the question, “Which should I work on first, efficiency or effectiveness?” In theory and practice, the best answer is to improve your effectiveness first. It’s much better to aim your sights at the result than to worry about the process. Too often we get bogged down in the means and lose sight of the end.

*******

Dr. Tony Alessandra, author of “Dr. T’s Timely Tips”, is available as a speaker for corporate and trade association meetings. Teleseminars and webinars are also available. Contact Holli Catchpole at SpeakersOffice: 1-800-222-4383 or Holli@SpeakersOffice.com

Time management is the central skill of success. Your ability to manage your time, to focus and channel your energies on your highest value tasks, will determine your rewards and your level of accomplishment in life more than any other factor.

Save Hundreds of Hours and Thousands of Dollars in Personal Advancement

Your mind is your most precious asset. You must be continually working to increase the quality of your thinking. One of the best ways is to turn driving time into learning time. Listen to educational audio cassettes in your car. The average driver, according to the American Automobile Association, drives 12,000 to 25,000 miles each year, spending 500 to 1000 hours that you spend each year in your car. That is the equivalent of 12 1/2 to 25 forty-hour weeks. This is the same as two full university semesters spent behind the wheel of your car each year.

Use Traveling Time as Learning Time

If you did nothing but use that traveling time as learning time, this decision alone could make you one of the best educated people of your generation. Many people have gone from rags to riches simply by listening to audio programs as they drive to and from work.

Attend Every Seminar

In addition, for personal and professional development, you should attend every seminar you can. You can often save yourself 100’s of hours of reading and researching by attending a seminar given by an authority in his or her field. You can learn ideas, techniques and methods that can save you hours, days, even months of hard work and research on your own.

Increase Your Income

Remember, to earn more, you must learn more. Your outer world of results will always correspond to your inner world of preparation. Continuous learning is the minimum requirement for success in any field.

Action Exercises

Now, here are two things you can do to put these ideas to work in your life immediately.

First, purchase an audio program that can help you to be happier and more effective today. Begin listening to it immediately. Resolve never to listen to music in your car when you can turn driving time into learning time.

Second, seek out seminars and training programs given by experts in your field. Sit close to the front, take careful notes, and apply the best ideas that you learn immediately.

———————-
Article by Brian Tracy

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I am thankful…

For the taxes that I pay,
Because it means that I am employed.
For the mess to clean after a party,
Because it means that I have been surrounded by friends.
For the clothes that fit a little too snug,
Because it means I have enough to eat.
For a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and gutters that need fixing,
Because it means I have a home.
For all the complaining I hear about the government,
Because it means that we have freedom of speech.
For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot,
Because it means I am capable of walking and that I have been blessed with transportation.
For my huge heating bill,
Because it means I am warm.
For the lady behind me in church that sings off key,
Because it means that I can hear.
For the pile of laundry and ironing,
Because it means I have clothes to wear.
For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day,
Because it means I have been capable of working hard.
For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours,
Because it means that I am alive.
And finally……. For too much e-mail,
Because it means I have friends who are thinking of me.

-Source Unknown

There have never so many opportunities to start and build a successful business than there are today.

One Million Every Year

Ambitious individuals like you, with dreams and hopes, are starting new businesses today at a faster rate than ever before. Over one million new enterprises are being launched each year, and the rate is accelerating. The opportunities for finding or developing a new business idea are all around you, and with proper preparation, the possibilities for your success are enormous.

No Better Time Than Today

As many as 80 percent of all the products and service in common use today at home, in business and in organizations large and small, will be obsolete in five years. They’ll be replaced by new and better products and services. The rapid development of new technology and the desire of people for new or better or cheaper products or services means that you can start your fortune easier today than at any other time in history.

Avoiding Failure, Assuring Success

However, we know that 80 to 90 percent of new businesses fail in the first three years due to a variety of factors. One of those factors is managerial incompetence. It is an inability to sell the product or an inability to control costs or both. Another major reason for failure is offering the wrong product at the wrong price to the wrong market at the wrong time, or a combination of these. In which case, even the best marketing efforts and cost controls won’t help you.

Determine the Need

The first principle with regard to selecting any new product or service is to determine that it fills a genuine, existing need, that it solves a problem of some kind for the customer, or that it makes the life or work of the customer better in some way. You must be very clear about this.

Sell a Quality Product or Service

The second principle for success with a new product or service is that it must be of good quality at a fair price. And if it is in competition with other similar products or services, it must have what is called a unique selling proposition. It must have some beneficial feature or attraction that makes it different from and superior to its competitors.

Your Area of Uniqueness

We call this its area of uniqueness. And it is central to success in business. No product or service can succeed unless it is somehow unique and superior to any other product or service like it. There is seldom any real opportunity in what is called a “me too” product - one that is just the same as all the others. At the same time, the safest business strategy is to start off with an accepted product that you can improve. In other words, instead of trying to invent a whole new business or industry, start off with something that people are already doing, people are already buying and using, and find some way to improve it.

Action Exercises

Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action:

First, determine exactly what is different and special about your product or service that will cause people to buy it in competition with similar products or services. Build your entire sales and marketing around this unique selling proposition.

Second, investigate before you invest. Be prepared to look at a variety of different business opportunities until you find one that really excites you before you make a decision to get started.

———————-
Article by Brian Tracy

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I had a very special teacher in high school many years ago whose husband died suddenly of a heart attack. About a week after his death, she shared some of her insights with a classroom of students. The class was nearly over, and as the late afternoon sunlight came streaming in through the classroom windows, she moved a few things aside on the edge of her desk and sat down there. With a gentle look of reflection on her face, she paused and said, “Before class is over, I would like to share with all of you a thought that is unrelated to class, but which I feel is very important.”

“Each of us is put here on earth to learn, share, love, appreciate and give of ourselves. None of us knows when this fantastic experience will end. It can be taken away at any moment. Perhaps this is God’s way of telling us that we must make the most out of every single day.” Her eyes beginning to water, she went on, “So I would like you all to make me a promise. From now on, on your way to school, or on your way home, find something beautiful to notice. It doesn’t have to be something you see - it could be a scent - perhaps of freshly baked bread wafting out of someone’s house, or it could be the sound of the breeze slightly rustling the leaves in the trees, or the way the morning light catches one autumn leaf as it falls gently to the ground.”

“Please look for these things, and cherish them. For, although it may sound trite to some, these things are the ’stuff’ of life. The little things we are put here on earth to enjoy. The things we often take for granted. We must make it important to notice them, for at any time…it can all be taken away.”

The class was completely quiet. We all picked up our books and filed out of the room silently. That afternoon, I noticed more things on my way home from school than I had that whole semester. Every once in a while, I think of that teacher and remember what an impression she made on all of us, and I try to appreciate all of those things that sometimes we all overlook.

Take notice of something special you see on your lunch hour today. Go barefoot. Or walk on the beach at sunset. Stop off on the way home tonight to get a double-dip ice cream cone. For as we get older, it is not the things we did that we often regret, but the things we didn’t do.

-Source Unknown

The Master Key To Riches

Discipline yourself to do what you know you need to do to be the very best in your field. Perhaps the best definition of self discipline is this: “Self discipline is the ability to make yourself do what you should do when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not.”

It is easy to do something when you feel like it. It’s when you don’t feel like it and you force yourself to do it anyway that you move your life and career onto the fast track.

What decisions do you need to make today in order to start moving toward the top of your field? Whatever it is, either to get in or get out, make a decision today and then get started. This single act alone can change the whole direction of your life.

Seven Steps to Success

There is a powerful seven step formula that you can use to set and achieve your goals for the rest of your life. Every single successful person uses this formula or some variation of this formula to achieve vastly more than the average person. And so can you. Here it is:

Decide What You Want

Step number one, decide exactly what it is you want in each part of your life. Become a “meaningful specific” rather than a “wandering generality.”

Write It Down

Second, write it down, clearly and in detail. Always think on paper. A goal that is not in writing is not a goal at all. It is merely a wish and it has no energy behind it.

Set A Deadline

Third, set a deadline for your goal. A deadline acts as a “forcing system” in your subconscious mind. It motivates you to do the things necessary to make your goal come true. If it is a big enough goal, set sub-deadlines as well. Don’t leave this to chance.

Make A List

Fourth, make a list of everything that you can think of that you are going to have to do to achieve your goal. When you think of new tasks and activities, write them on your list until your list is complete.

Organize Your List

Fifth, organize your list into a plan. Decide what you will have to do first and what you will have to do second. Decide what is more important and what is less important. And then write out your plan on paper, the same way you would develop a blueprint to build your dream house.

Take Action

The sixth step is for you to take action on your plan. Do something. Do anything. But get busy. Get going.

Do Something Every Day

Do something every single day that moves you in the direction of your most important goal at the moment. Develop the discipline of doing something 365 days each year that is moving you forward. You will be absolutely astonished at how much you accomplish when you utilize this formula in your life every single day.

Action Exercises

1. Decide exactly what you want, write it down with a deadline, make a plan and take action — on at least one goal — today!

2. Determine the price you will have to pay to achieve this goal and then get busy paying that price — whatever it is.

———————-
Article by Brian Tracy

Get Brian Tracy’s 21 Success Secrets of Self-Made Millionaires for FREE!
“Did you know that every 60 seconds someone else in the world becomes a Millionaire?”
Wouldn’t it be great to know their secrets? Their formulas? The little-known facts? Well now you can - and ALL for FREE! Absolutely no commitments and no strings attached.
Get it Get it here.